The One Finger Wave

"You're such a snob!" said my realtor one morning last summer. "Everytime I go by you on the road, you never wave."

His words hit me hard. Half the time I didn't even know I had passed him on the road. And inwardly I groaned. I'd been gone so long that I had forgotten that waving is as much a part of rural culture as bagels are a part of New York.  But I remember the kind of people that zoomed past our house as children, their nose up in the air, too busy or stuck up to wave.  Old man H- was like that.  "Jerk," I'd say whenever he sped by, not even looking to see who was waving.

See, if you aren't from this part of the world, you have to be brought up to speed on waving. There's the "boat wave." It's a full fledged, move your hand and forearm aerobic exercise designed to make sure the people on shore know you are being friendly to your neighbors. No, it's not okay to wave like the Queen of England where only the hand slightly moves. This is serious waving. When people don't wave back, or if they are the ones on the boat ignoring you, they might just as well be sold to the nearest Alien Space Invaders. It's just better to get them out of the gene pool.

Then there's the "Cool Farmer Wave." It's a quick move of the hand to let someone know you have acknowledged their presence. It's casual enough to say, "Howya doin'?" or "Hey there." But it's not making you work up a sweat. It's good for farmers who are driving by in their pickups, guys who've had too much pot to smoke or business people with way too much to think about that don't want the waving recipient to think they are being insincere.  It's got just the right amount of speed and motion to not make someone else feel obligated to invite you in for coffee. 

Then there's the "Type A Personality" wave. This one is from the person who had waaaaay too many cups of coffee at breakfast.  It's often followed by small pebbles flying from the tires, dust or a streak of motion from the vehicle that is usually driving too fast.  You don't truly want to run into these people anyway.  They'll tell you busy they are, or gabble on about how they need help.  Once you see that wave, hide behind a tree or something.

I was contemplating this when trying to devise how to change the error of my way.  I needed to wave to everybody now, just so I didn't tick any off!  But what's a wave that's good for me?  I puzzled and puzzled. The waves mentioned above came to mind, but I rejected them all for good reasons. Still, I felt compelled to do something.

The answer came several days later when passing someone on the road that I probably didn't know.  The driver raised his first finger on the hand that was grasping the steering wheel in the twelve o'clock position.  I was enthralled.  It was a wonderful wave!  One that said, "Hey! I see ya!  Looking good!" or "Hey!  Howya doing?"  There is no obligation in this quick acknowledgement.  Just something easy and cool.

So I'm out doing the one finger wave.  It's too early to tell if I'm going to hear from anyone that they totally get my new form of communication. And since I wave at every car I pass on the road now, no one can gripe about me being egotistical any more.  I just give them my one finger wave.  And I celebrate that I am not using the one finger that might make them take a shot at me.