Sunday, December 25, 2011

A Change to a Low-Key Christmas

Christmas at my parent's home was usually a noisy, fun filled affair with nephews and nieces who played with me in the basement while the older people played cards upstairs. Our toys, which resided in a small closet in the basement, consisted of such things as a plastic telephone with a broken dial, a plastic bottle in form of a woman in a long dress, a couple of empty spools of thread, and a fluffy powderpuff that once had a life in a cosmetic kit.  In desperation to keep ourselve amused, we grabbed every extra blanket, a rickety old card table plus some extra wooden chairs, and made forts, then mazes, then haunted houses. Sometimes we found an old deck of 51 cards, or someone's new board game to keep busy. It was always fun, even with deficient toys.

The adults played pinochle or canasta passionately. Thank goodness I had no memories of anyone getting angry about losing, no one seriously cheated, and lots of laughter accompanied all games. At some point, my father would bring out the Limburger cheese, and soda crackers. Eating it made you an adult somehow, earning the respect of my dad, whose mother had made it at home when he was a child.  Some of my nephews and I would stop playing downstairs for a few moments and stand behind an adult to watch the pinochle game. Sometimes we even filled in to organize a hand while someone needed a bathroom break, which was a thrill because it showed how that grown-up believed in our ability to be a worthy player.  The house was always too hot; the oven and all the extra bodies finally made it so that we had to open a window.

As I grew older and more proficient at pinochle, I joined the card playing crowd or helped in the kitchen as needed.  Younger kids grew up and the days of building forts with old card tables, or messing with toys in the basement changed. The older kids still played downstairs, but this time they had full decks of cards, and a stereo with the newest rock and roll.  The laughter of little children was gone, but teenagers bring their own energy to a home.

Then our generation got married and started bringing back children of our own. But there was something wrong with the picture. Mom was in her late seventies, and my siblings were making more comments about the strain of hosting the annual Christmas event. She may have loved the house being filled with the sounds of grandchildren, but she couldn't ignore that even with help, the work load before and after the holiday was too much. She wouldn't give up the hosting of the annual dinner until her stroke changed it all.

Suddnely my siblings all drifted to their own homes. My children, who came along too late to learn how crazy these holiday parties could be, are now used to a new kind of December 25th:  the Low key Christmas. We have our own at home now, just us. Our siblings have their own, too, and even when we've tried to invite each other, they've been busy. It's time to have our own family traditions, and our boys will have very different childhood Christmas memories compared to mine.  It's a reality I've come to accept.

I'm thinking of all of this as I watch them try out their new video game. My husband has already watched the DVD instruction manual that accompanied a new tool I bought for him.  We've been snacking, and soon we'll head over to the table to play cards or go for a walk together. Later tonight we may even go caroling at a local nursing home. Very different traditions than what I had a child.

In many respects, this Low Key Christmas is becoming a favorite of mine. Gone are the crowds of people that have to struggle to find a place to sit just to eat. Absent are the cries from frustrated children who can't deal with an older sibling or cousin doing something naughty.  I no longer have to try to explain to my mother that I just want to sit and visit with a family member that I haven't seen in ages, not play cards constantly.  The idea of "peace on earth," a concept made for Christmas, is actually attainable in our home.

My children will never have memories of the Noisy Christmas. They'll someday bring home their own kids and there will the a new generation to toss downstairs with the command of, "Go play!"  I'll try to supply a new bunch of toys, ones that won't cut your fingers off with busted plastic, or be castoff junk a long forgotten cosmetic case.  Instead, I'm saving all the really cool things my kids are outgrowing like the legos, robotics, and other engineering goodies.  I might even sink the television in the lake for Christmas day, just so my grandkids can't park in front of a video game all day.  Then once again our house will be filled with noise and joy, to start a new generation of memories for kids who may lose it all later, and go back to a Low Key Christmas.

3 comments:

  1. Loved reading about your family traditions. My kids, then grandkids, and now great-grandkids get more toys in one Christmas than my sister and I did in our entire childhood, but I remember each one with loving memory, and we never felt poor! Always homemade gifts, which is a tradition that has continued right down the 3 generations since, I'm happy to say.

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  2. Hi Beth and Lyn! Times have definitely changed. I never experienced a Christmas like you described Beth, but oh how I would have loved to. I have one nephew who loves building things, coloring, listening to music, playing sports, etc. and another nephew who plays Xbox games. All the time. The first nephew is five, the other, eight (two different families). I can't support the second nephew's gaming habit and suspect my gifts aren''t valued or used. I think children who aren't encouraged to tap into their imaginations for play are really missing out on growth opportunities. Not that technology is bad, but there seems to be a lack of balance and children's health is suffering as a result.

    I'm so glad to have found you here. I'm going to join your page now.

    Happy new year to you and your family! And to you too Lynn!

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  3. Thanks for joining, you two! And everyone. It's unusual for the boys to play video games more than an hour a day (a strictly enforced limit) but yesterday they had a blast trying out everything they got. I swear, boys or girls who don't do anything but play video games are often impossible to talk to and have no background with which to hold a coversation. Merry Christmas to you all!

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