The Kind of "Friends" I didn't Expect

Imagine my delight and surprise when I opened my inbox yesterday morning, only to discover "dhoeyboozer189" is now following me on Twitter.  What joy! What exhileration to know that someplace, somewhere, someone with that kind of handle would have singled out little old me to befriend! I now can close my eyes for the last time knowing I have attracted the finest of the fine.

Not.

You have to kind of wonder some times how people come up with names like that in the first place. We all know the term "boozer" belongs to just the kind of people you want to engage in intelligent conversation.  Oh sure.  But the clever part is "d" meaning "the" and "hoey" meaning the kind of girl Mama warned you about. I thought my name, "Wearmanyhats" was particularly appropriate because I play so many different roles in life: wife, daughter, sister, friend, cook, etc. But never once did I assume I should tell someone that I was morally loose or a drunk. I'm not sure what kind of person is behind this name, but I would bet we wouldn't run in the same circles in life!

What got me was the "189" behind that name. Now did that mean there were 188 other "dhoeyboozers" out there?  If so, do they have a club or something? How many times did this person have to type into Twitter to try to get this name?  I can't even imagine sitting there typing a number 188 times, just waiting to be "accepted" as having a new name as worthy as "dehoeyboozer." 

I don't spend nearly as much time on Twitter as I probably should to really promote my blog or give my opinion.  No one in the media makes an announcement when I write a deep, meaningful sentence and post it. Truly Twitter is one of my lower priorities. Maybe I should be on there more often. It might help me learn to say what's on my mind more succinctly. Alas, only so many hours in a day.

Now, however, I'm feeling more like it's a bad biker bar I want to avoid. Last week someone "followed" me and in their note to me asked me to do things that would make a normal man blush.  I was hoping these kind of people would think I was only someone that had many hats in her closet. After all, I'm assuming these are not the deep, intellectual type.... rather the kind of get-down-to-business type of person Stephen Covey would have coached in efficiency. I noticed both of these new contacts were following hundreds of people and had no followers of their own. That was a good feeling.  It gives me hope for humankind.

I think about being "followed" anyway, and it sort of makes me wonder what Jesus Christ would have done about Twitter if he had been alive today.  I suppose he would have welcomed all 189 of DeHoeyboozers into fold, explaining how there is a special place after life for them if they repent their ways. In a way, someone could make Twitter a ministry to all of those fallen stars just like Christ would have done. I'd make a lousy evangelist. When these kind of people come around, I run; no doubt I'm a coward.

So I'm neglecting my Twitter, perhaps hiding from the bad guys that seem to roam its streets.  Sometimes it's nice to just reside in a place where the Hoeyboozers of the world aren't in my face. Who knows? Maybe someday someone really delightful will "follow me" just because they like my name.  Hey, a girl can hope, right?